Beauty is a loaded word for me sometimes. It’s a word more often applied to women than to men. For years, I was cute or pretty. In my early twenties, I strove to be beautiful and finally felt like I was hitting the mark. By my late twenties, I was leaning away from being beautiful again, working hard to discover and convey my gender identity. Friends learned to read me, to say I was handsome when that’s what I was going for.
Beautiful is a girl thing, except when it’s not. The more people saw me, the more people I came out to, the freer I felt to simply be. I’m genderqueer in a dress, genderqueer in a suit, genderqueer naked, genderqueer in a leather jacket and jeans with drag makeup on my eyes. Sometimes, people say I’m beautiful. Because I am. I am beautiful and handsome and fabulous and every other thing I have always wanted to be.
Have you ever struggled with the way you want to be seen? Share in the comments!