Beautifully Genderqueer

Beauty is a loaded word for me sometimes. It’s a word more often applied to women than to men. For years, I was cute or pretty. In my early twenties, I strove to be beautiful and finally felt like I was hitting the mark. By my late twenties, I was leaning away from being beautiful again, working hard to discover and convey my gender identity. Friends learned to read me, to say I was handsome when that’s what I was going for.

Beautiful is a girl thing, except when it’s not. The more people saw me, the more people I came out to, the freer I felt to simply be. I’m genderqueer in a dress, genderqueer in a suit, genderqueer naked, genderqueer in a leather jacket and jeans with drag makeup on my eyes. Sometimes, people say I’m beautiful. Because I am. I am beautiful and handsome and fabulous and every other thing I have always wanted to be.

Have you ever struggled with the way you want to be seen? Share in the comments!


About Melissa ra Karit

I'm a queer, poly, genderqueer Witch. I'm a sex-positive feminist, an activist, and a writer. I believe that when we attend to our individual good, we approach the world with good in our hearts and change the world for the better. Opinions expressed here are solely my personal opinions, and do not represent the views of any organization with which I am affiliated.
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One Response to Beautifully Genderqueer

  1. jainabee says:

    So yeah! This is part of the evolution of coming out in one way and then continuing to free oneself from the constraints of externally established preconceptions and expectations. Just the other day, someone suggested i wear a temporary tattoo of a moustache to signal to others my non-binary gender. But that just perpetuates conventions that i want to blast away!!! (though i often wish i had a beard…) The more i feel recognized by those around me, the less tension i feel around words and labels. I can be Metagender, genderqueer, a sister, a sxter, a woman, a human, an earthling and more ALL AT ONCE.

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